Again, I promise to stay active and write, but I don't follow through. Sometimes I am just too lazy, but mostly just too tired. I have so many great things going on in my life that I try to push the fibro aside like it doesn't exist. I mostly hope that if I keep ignoring it, maybe it won't be there. Mind over matter, right?
If only it would work that way. I sit here with a pounding sore throat that started yesterday morning. I woke up Saturday with a sore throat that is usually to be a warning sign to slow down. We are getting ready to move into the new house (25 days) and we are shopping for furniture and appliances non-stop. I felt ok Friday night so we met friends for dinner and then shopped and got up Saturday to go shopping again. How can my throat hurt when I am doing things I love to do?!? Shop!
I have friends that are going through rough patches and my problems seem trivial. It's strange when you know that something is not a big deal in comparison to other people's problems, yet it is so large that it stops you in your tracks almost daily. Why is this happening? It must be something more!
To those of you who have never felt the pain, you can't imagine how someone could feel so bad. And then if you feel it, you can't help but wonder if it is going to kill you. The pain sometimes is so strong that you think your body will just have enough and shut down.
At the same time, I find myself frustrated by friends that are always sick with common colds, etc. They cancel plans at the last minute because they have a headache or something minor. If I cancelled plans each time I felt bad, I would hardly get out of the house. I am not better than anyone, I have just learned to live with a certain amount of discomfort. I have also learned to push through and not want much attention so I play it off mildly. I don't talk about it a lot. I do tell friends when I feel a flare coming on or so forth, but I don't expand much on how I feel. It would be too depressing and I doubt anyone would understand it anyway.
Oh well, another sob story I guess. Sorry I don't write more, again I promise.
On another note, I am waiting for biopsy results from a mole removed on my back. Testing for melanoma. Doubt I have that, but the Dr. found some suspicious moles. Then again, I think maybe none of this is fibro...maybe its something real.
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Love reading your blog, keep writing even if a few lines a day!
ReplyDeleteWishing you a painfree and hassle free move :)
I so could have written this blog and as I read it I had tears in my eyes. No one can really understand what we feel and how much we have to push ourshelves to do anything in our lives. And I tried to push it away for years and ignore even though I knew the symptoms because I saw my mother go through it and in her day there was not much support and Drs. just gave her drugs. We know there are days you don't feel like doing anything. We understand write what you can. Gentle hugs to you, Pam
ReplyDeleteMy husband didn't believe that I was adjusting the sheet and my Tshirt each night because both would cause pain. Then years later, a news report was showing a fm lady tightening the sheet on her bed before she laid in it, and my husband just turned around and looked at me in disbelief. People who don't have fm just don't get it. They just don't get how you can have the stamina to rake leaves four hours, but you'll pay for it for the next two weeks. You are not alone.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. You explained this so well. I agree with Lynn-Marie, sometimes writing just a little bit each day can help keep you motivated. Once it becomes habit you may find yourself not wanting to skip a day. :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you are able to pace yourself with the move without pushing yourself too hard. Having a fibro flare during a move or travel is not fun.
**Hugs**
FB is horrible, but I have just learned to deal and live with it!! I realized there are people out there worse off than me, so why complain!! I just decided to do what I can when I can and enjoy what I can!! Life is too short no matter what the situation is!! My prayers are with each of you!! :^)
ReplyDeleteHi fibro blogger have you heard of the Fibro Bloggers Directory? Lynn-Marie is in it and we'd love you to be in it too. Free and simple to do.
ReplyDeleteIt is no secret that I have a very deep and personal relationship with God. I have pushed and resisted that relationship this past year through all the bullshit I have had to go through living with Herpes but once again, God is bigger than my stubbornness and broke through that outbreak cold sore and all I had Genital Herpes. For me personally, hearing over and over how I am not good enough has really invaded my mind in the worst way possible. I completely shut down and I was just waking up like is this how life going to end this temporary herpes outbreak “fuck everybody with herpes if you know what I mean” but let's be honest here...It is a cowardly to say no to herbal medicine. It is fear based. And it is dishonest to what my heart wants. Don't build a wall around yourself because you are afraid of herbals made or taking a bold step especially when it's come to health issues and getting cure. So many young men/ women tell me over and over that Dr Itua is going to scam me but I give him a try to today I feel like no one will ever convince me about herbal medicine I accept Dr Itua herbal medicine because it's cure my herpes just two weeks of drinking it and i have been living for a year and months now I experience outbreak no more, You can contact him if you need his herbal medicine for any such diseases like,HIV,Epilepsy Infertility, Herpes, Hepatitis, Schizophrenia,Cancer,Fibromyalgia,Fluoroquinolone Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva.Dupuytren's disease,Desmoplastic,Diabetes ,Coeliac disease,Prostate Cancer,Blood Cancer,Lung Cancer,Brain Cancer,Colo-Rectal Cancer,Love Spell,Cerebral Amyloid Angiopathy,Hpv,Weak Erection,Wart Remover. Ataxia,Arthritis,Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis,Alzheimer's disease,Adrenocortical carcinoma.Asthma,Glaucoma., Cataracts,Macular degeneration,Cardiovascular disease,Lung disease.Enlarged prostate,Osteoporosis.
ReplyDeleteDementia.measles, tetanus, whooping cough, tuberculosis, polio and diphtheria,Allergic, Love Spell,. Email..drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com/ info@drituaherbalcenter.com. then what's app.+2348149277967.... My advice to any sick men/women out there is simple... Be Always an open book. Be gut wrenching honest about yourself, your situation, and what you are all about. Don't hold anything back. Holding back will get you nowhere...maybe a one way ticket to lonelyville and that is NOT somewhere you want to be. So my final truth...and I'm just starting to grasp this one..