Friends dropping by...

So, yesterday was a challenge for me.  A friend called around 11am and asked if her and her son could stop by and "Boo" us.  This is something new, the "Boo" thing.  They fill a goody bag and then they place it on the door and ring the bell and run away.  They hide on the side of the house and then pop out and "boo" us.  It's really cute.

So, she wanted to stop over at 4 and boo us.  Then, she said "and maybe we can hang out and the kids can play for a little while."  Her son has a few behavior problems and tends to destroy my house.  I was planning on using the day to get caught up on cleaning and laundry because my mom is coming into town on Wednesday.  I told my friend this, that normally that would be fine, but I was cleaning all day and I didn't want the kids to destroy the house after my efforts.  She said they could play outside.  She wasn't getting the hint, I just didn't feel like I had the energy for this. 

But, she said she was coming at 4pm.  I know it probably sounds rude that she just invited herself and her child over...and well, it was.  But, I am kind of glad because my kids really enjoyed being "boo'd" and it was nice to see my friend as well.

I cleaned most of the house, except the kids bedrooms.  I had to do this anyway- whether they were coming or not.  When they came, I just set the rule that no one could play in the kids bedrooms.  We don't have a playroom, so kids tend to play in their bedrooms.  I told them they could bring a few toys to the living room, but that is all.  It worked out pretty good.

They ended up staying for dinner and that was fine.  One thing my friend said to me that I thought was a strange perspective of fibro was that I must have a high pain tolerance.  She thought since I was in pain so much, I must be able to tolerate higher levels of pain.  I don't think this is true, but I thought it was interesting.

So, yesterday turned out to be a pretty good day.  I realize too that friends don't really care how clean your house is.  If they do, probably not worth keeping as a friend.  And, as much as I don't like talking about fibro, people need us to in order to understand. 

Friendships

I recently read an article about friendships and support for people with fibro.  I have been thinking a lot about it.  To sum it up, it basically said you need to surround yourself with positive people and people that at least try to understand.  I am not sure that is even possible, I would cut out majority of my friends.  In fact, there are some friends I haven't even told about the fibro.

The alternative to this (which was mentioned in the article) was to lower your expectations about people understanding what we are going through.  This is where I am at.  I am trying not to let some things that other people say get to me, but it is VERY hard.  One friend said "Fibro what?" when I said the word Fibromyalgia.  She knew I had this, but couldn't really pronounce it, I guess.  She is a stay-at-home mom of a little boy that is 5 years old and she complains to me constantly about how much she has to do around the house.  For some reason, she thinks since I work full-time that I do not have the same amount of chores she does.  I can't figure out exactly why she thinks she has more laundry than we do when we have 1 additional family member.  But, that is not the point.

One time when I told her I couldn't babysit her son on a Thursday night because I had to get up for work the next day and I go to bed early she said (brace yourself):  "You need to take a vitamin."  GASP- that is what I did.  How dare she?

I shared it with my husband and we both rolled our eyes.  If all I needed to do was take a vitamin, well, I would thank my lucky stars.  And you know what, I do take a vitamin.  Does it help?  Not one bit.  :)