Sunday, April 4, 2010

Updates & Sore Throat

Again, I promise to stay active and write, but I don't follow through.  Sometimes I am just too lazy, but mostly just too tired.  I have so many great things going on in my life that I try to push the fibro aside like it doesn't exist.  I mostly hope that if I keep ignoring it, maybe it won't be there.  Mind over matter, right?

If only it would work that way.  I sit here with a pounding sore throat that started yesterday morning.  I woke up Saturday with a sore throat that is usually to be a warning sign to slow down.  We are getting ready to move into the new house (25 days) and we are shopping for furniture and appliances non-stop.  I felt ok Friday night so we met friends for dinner and then shopped and got up Saturday to go shopping again.  How can my throat hurt when I am doing things I love to do?!?  Shop!

I have friends that are going through rough patches and my problems seem trivial.  It's strange when you know that something is not a big deal in comparison to other people's problems, yet it is so large that it stops you in your tracks almost daily.  Why is this happening?  It must be something more!

To those of you who have never felt the pain, you can't imagine how someone could feel so bad.  And then if you feel it, you can't help but wonder if it is going to kill you.  The pain sometimes is so strong that you think your body will just have enough and shut down.

At the same time, I find myself frustrated by friends that are always sick with common colds, etc.  They cancel plans at the last minute because they have a headache or something minor.  If I cancelled plans each time I felt bad, I would hardly get out of the house.  I am not better than anyone, I have just learned to live with a certain amount of discomfort.  I have also learned to push through and not want much attention so I play it off mildly. I don't talk about it a lot.  I do tell friends when I feel a flare coming on or so forth, but I don't expand much on how I feel.  It would be too depressing and I doubt anyone would understand it anyway.

Oh well, another sob story I guess.  Sorry I don't write more, again I promise.

On another note, I am waiting for biopsy results from a mole removed on my back.  Testing for melanoma.  Doubt I have that, but the Dr. found some suspicious moles.  Then again, I think maybe none of this is fibro...maybe its something real.